


Say Nothing

by wartransmission



Series: Once Upon A Time [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Knight!Dave, M/M, Medievalstuck, prince!John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave can’t help but say yes to everything, every question and every wish, because John’s eyes are glassy with tears and Dave doesn’t want to see him cry.</p>
<p>When John kisses him again, Dave can’t find it in himself to push him away.</p>
<p>It was the beginning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>[A prequel/sequel of sorts to A Debt Repaid.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Nothing

When Dave is seven, he starts living in the palace.

 

He remembers, vaguely, a life that had been filled with so much darkness and loneliness- up until Prospit. His brother, with fair hair similar to his, shines brighter in this place.  _As do you,_  his brother says, when he tells him about it. He smiles, and it fills Dave with warmth that had seemed so unfamiliar until that one moment.

 

He does not remember smiling back, until John. John, who is the prince and a child who had been lonely ( _“I’ve never met anyone my age before in the palace,” he had said_ ), someone who is similar to him.

 

Dave is running, away from John but not, in the gardens on a sunny day. He watches John stumble, waits for him to start panting for breath before he slows himself down and let’s himself be caught by a tackle, making sure not to let his darkly tinted spectacles fall from his face along the way. “You’re,” John wheezes, laughing all the while, “hard to catch, Dave!”

 

“I know,” Dave says in turn, grinning when John gets off of him and hauls him up by the arm. “Bro taught me to run fast.”

 

“Would you teach me?” John asks, hopeful.

 

Dave laughs, because the sight it presents (John, who is taller than him, looking for the entire world like a puppy asking for a treat) is an odd one. “Of course.”

 

John is his first friend, and he is happy.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is eight, he starts training with John.

 

“I’ve always wanted to become a knight,” Dave says, the smile on his face so wide that his cheeks almost hurt. John grins back, nudging Dave with a shoulder as they make their way to the training grounds. “Your dad really said I could train with you?”

 

“I insisted,” John huffs, proud of himself for managing to convince his father about it. “It’s no fun if I trained without you. You like swords better than me, anyway.”

 

Dave laughs. “Because you prefer playing with hammers?”

 

“Because I prefer playing with weapons that can’t cut me,” John says.

 

Dave thinks on that for a while, prepared to argue- because swords are the best weapon a man can have, obviously- but finds that he cannot say anything.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is nine, his brother introduces him to Rose.

 

“She’s one of us,” his brother says, not really explaining anything, but he nods anyway. His brother knows everything, after all.

 

“Hello,” Rose says, eyes a shiny lavender color under the sunlight. “You are Dave, correct?”

 

Dave instantly thinks, ‘Ah, she’s smart.’

 

“Yes,” he says, eyeing the hand Rose offers as a greeting. He accepts it with ease when he notices the look his brother is giving him, squeezing his small hand around hers, before letting go. “And you’re Rose.”

 

Rose smiles. “That I am. I will be your…sister of sorts, starting from now. Brother has said that it would be fine.”

 

His brother settles a hand on his head then, a reminder of just how much bigger he is in comparison to Dave. Dave nods, because brother only does what is best. “Okay.” He tries for a smile. “Do you want to go play with me?”

 

The smile on Rose’s face widens marginally. “I would love to.”

 

Dave takes her hand in his as he leads her to the gardens, and realizes just how tiny and cold her hands are in his own.

 

He doesn’t know it, but he vows to protect her, somewhere deep inside his heart.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is ten, the King calls him a page.

 

“You will start studying with my son tomorrow, at dawn,” King Egbert says, voice kind yet firm when he regards Dave from his kneeling position in front of him. Dave, as of yet, does not understand the significance of having the King kneel before him, leveling himself with a lowly servant boy like Dave.

 

“Really, sire?” Dave asks, keeping still even with the urge to jump in excitement.

 

“Really,” the King says, smiling all the while. “I am certain my son would prefer your company when he studies.”

 

Dave’s lips twitch into a smile at that. “That might be true.” He pauses, before saying, voice soft, “I’ve always wanted to be a knight, your highness. Did John tell you?”

 

The King laughs. “He might have, Dave. I have a question to ask, though.”

 

Dave nods in respect, as his brother taught him to. “What would that be, sire?”

 

“My son is the prince, as you know,” the King says. “Would you be loyal to him, if I made you his knight?”

 

Dave almost grins at the probability of being a knight, but calms himself as he answers with, “Of course, your majesty.”

 

“Why?” The King asks.

 

Dave pauses, unused to such a question. That is, until he understands. “Because he is my friend. I care about him.”

 

The King smiles, and it feels like acceptance.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is eleven, he introduces Rose to John.

 

John smiles instantly when she faces him, his hand reaching out to kiss the back of hers as he bows slightly. “Pleasure to meet you, m’lady,” he says, grinning as he raises his head.

 

Rose is charmed, unsurprisingly. She smiles, curtsying in turn when John releases her hand. “And a pleasure to meet you, your highness.”

 

He feels jealous for a split second, watching them. They fit somehow, even through the contrast of her fair hair compared to his dark locks. They talk for a while, grins matching on their faces, and Dave feels, almost inexplicably, lonely.

 

But John grins at him, holds out a hand, which he takes all too easily. “Come on! The gardener planted new flowers in the garden, and I want to see them.”

 

Rose smiles at him from her place beside John, an eyebrow raised as she regards him. He rolls his eyes at her obvious amusement with him, yet turns his head to John with a nod. “What are we waiting for, then?” John laughs and tugs him forward, to which Rose shakes her head and starts walking ahead of them.

 

Jealousy has no place in their friendship, he realizes.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is twelve, John introduces him to Jade.

 

She is pretty. Rose has always been pretty, sure, but there’s a quality to Jade that he just  _likes._  Black hair, big green eyes, the way that she holds herself with confidence- everything suits her so perfectly that he can’t help staring, just for a bit. John coughs, clearing his throat, and Dave smiles in remembrance. He takes her hand in one smooth movement, kissing the back of it lightly before looking up to her.  “Apologies, I was,” he trailed off as he released her hand, “distracted by how pretty you were.”

 

“Stop it, you’re making me blush,” she says with a grin. There is no coyness, no shyness, only amusement at his actions and her response an act of irony in kind.

 

Dave likes her instantly, and he tells her so.

 

She laughs at his words, before saying, “I think I like you as well, sir Strider!”

 

Rose and John are left to themselves when Jade takes Dave through the motions of preparing a crossbow, yet when he looks back at Rose, John is nowhere to be found.

 

He does not think much of it, considering how John returns eventually.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is thirteen, John is made ill after staying out too long in the lake with him.

 

“Dave,” the King says, voice soothing as he lays a hand on Dave’s shoulder, “there are servants who can take care of him, you understand.”

 

“I don’t care,” Dave says, voice tinged with anger (at himself) and stubbornness. “It’s my fault. I want to help.”

 

The King sighs, but there is a smile on his face when he raises his gaze to his son lying supine on the bed. “Son?”

 

John coughs, a fist covering his mouth for a moment, before he lowers it and smiles. He says, turning to Dave, “It’s not your fault.” He turns to the King without much of a pause, smiling still as he says, “And I’d like it better if Dave took care of me.”

 

Dave is frowning, mouth opening to argue, until John glares at him. “No, you can’t argue with me. I stayed out too long of my own accord- you couldn’t exactly tell me what to do, could you?”

 

Dave hesitates, before shaking his head. He says, “No, I suppose not.”

 

The King smiles. “Then that’s settled. Dave,” he says, lightly petting Dave’s hair, “do take care of my son.”

 

Dave nods immediately in answer. “I will.” He turns his gaze to a grinning John, to which he grins back.

 

The King finds that, for once in his thirty-four years of life, he has found someone he can entrust his son to completely.

 

He does not say anything, even as he watches Dave brush away the black locks falling in John’s face.

 

 

\-----

 

 

When Dave is fourteen, he becomes a squire, and his brother becomes a knight.

 

“Would it be fine, being the one to teach my brother?” Dave’s brother asks when the ceremony is done, Dave himself standing beside his brother with all the pride in the world.

 

“Of course,” The King says. “I have taught you well, young Strider. I am certain your brother will learn much from you in the same manner. If you need help, though,” the King turns his eyes to the corners of the throne room, looking at the line of knights in place, “I think there is someone who may be able to help you. Someone you know.”

 

His brother’s lips curled up at that, looking at one of the knights. “Yes, of course.” Dave follows his line of sight, his gaze falling upon a man with black hair and green eyes. He looks somewhat like Jade, if he looks hard enough. “A friend who has helped me in my own journey.”

 

The King smiles. “Good.”

 

They talk some more, but Dave ignores them. He finds himself looking at John, who is grinning at him from his place behind his father. It feels like he is proud, for Dave, and it is exhilarating.

 

It is the first time he fathoms wanting to make someone (who isn’t his brother) pleased with him.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is fifteen, his brother teaches him how to dance.

 

John is not as quick to comprehending when his teacher demonstrates for him.

 

“You’re fortunate that I still remember how to dance from the lady’s place,” Dave says when he shuts the door to the ballroom behind him, John already taking the lead as he squeezes Dave’s hand in his. “You're sure you don’t want to start from there?”

 

“I don’t need to know the steps for the lady’s portion of the dance,” John says, rolling his eyes as he tugs Dave forward and to the center of the ballroom. “That will mess up my concentration on my own steps.”

 

Dave chuckles at the words, letting himself be pulled forward until his chest is pressed up to John’s. “If you insist. You do know you could’ve asked anyone else to teach you, right? I  _did_  offer, but-”

 

“Hush,” John says, grinning when Dave sighs in turn. “You offered, I accepted. I’m certain you know better than anyone else I’d bother asking, anyway.”

 

Dave smiles at the compliment, somewhat leading John as he steps back and to his left, his hand squeezing lightly on John’s shoulder. “I’ll make sure you remember this easily, then.”

 

John’s grin softens into a smile at that. “You won’t have any trouble with that, I think.”

 

It takes a week for John to learn the steps, and a day spent with his teacher for him to be told that he has vastly improved and will no longer need her aid.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is sixteen, Rose becomes an apprentice under the palace’s main healer.

 

“You’ll learn how to make potions?” Dave asks as he sits beside her, watching as she reads a book that had been given to her by the healer. “Sounds boring.”

 

“You think various things are boring when they are things you cannot do,” Rose says, smiling when Dave scowls at her. “Don’t fret. You are good enough in your own way.”

 

“You’d think,” Dave says, sighing as he brings a hand up to rub at his face. “I can’t even beat my brother.”

 

“Do you have to?” Rose asks.

 

Dave pauses. “Isn’t it what I have to do?”

 

Rose cocks her head to the side, looking curious. “I don’t think so. You don’t have to defeat someone to be great.”

 

Dave looks up at her when she says so, before he shakes his head. “Maybe.”

 

Rose smiles. “And what of John? You will be his knight, won’t you?”

 

Dave straightens up at the reminder, before raising an eyebrow at her. “That’s to be expected. He’s one of the reasons I managed to become a page at all, let alone a squire.”

 

“Is that all,” Rose asks, her own eyebrow quirked in question.

 

“He’s my friend,” Dave adds. He frowns when Rose maintains her expression. “Is there something else I’m forgetting?”

 

Rose doesn’t say anything in response for a while when she turns her gaze back to her book. Dave waits, mildly frustrated, until she says, “People do great things for love.” She does not raise her head when she says so, her fingers idly stroking the pages even as Dave stares intently at her.

 

Dave doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is seventeen, he remembers his debt to the King ten years too late. It is, in itself, a great debt- considering how both he and his brother would have died from starvation, had the King not taken them in.

 

He tries to be subtle about it, which isn’t much considering how the King laughs in amusement at him when he inquires about it.

 

“Your brother has repaid his debt well with becoming my knight. As for you,” the King smiles, “your friendship with my son is payment enough. So long as he is happy, then your debt is repaid. You need not worry.”

 

Dave can’t help but feel that he is not doing well enough in that respect, but he nods either way.

 

He will pay for what he owes the King, somehow.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is eighteen, he is named a knight.

 

The atmosphere of the throne room is suffocating when he is told to rise from his kneeling position, the number of people cheering around him making him feel heady with high spirits. Yet every color, every face is blurry to him, the only clear thing that he sees being blue eyes and black hair.

 

It’s only when the ceremony is done that John takes him aside, both Rose and Jade busy with preparing god knows what, that he is left alone with the prince. “I’m proud of you,” John says, grinning as he takes Dave in his arms. Dave chuckles and hugs him back, his arms wound tight around John’s shoulders as he nuzzles into dark locks.

 

“I know you are,” Dave says, voice muffled until he raises his head to look down at John, their differences in height making it harder for him to keep his chin up in John’s presence. He smiles, amused. “It seems I’ll be your knight from now on, my prince.”

 

John grins. “It would seem so. I don’t need you to protect me that much, though.” He raises an eyebrow when he says so, arms loose as they hang around Dave’s waist.

 

“I’ll have your back,” Dave promises, raising a hand to lightly pinch at John’s cheek. He grins when John rolls his eyes at him. “Shall we go see what the girls are doing?”

 

John almost looks like he’s hesitating for a moment, until he nods with a smile, his arms falling away from Dave. “Yes, let’s do that.”

 

Dave almost makes to ask about John’s hesitation, but decides that it’s not worth thinking about.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is nineteen, he realizes that having red eyes does not mean anything anymore.

 

“You’re a knight now,” John says, watching Dave with an amused smile. “No one gives a damn that your eyes are red.”

 

Dave does not say anything for a while in response, still breathing heavily as he cradles his glasses (which had fallen to the floor on accident) in his hands. The people around them in the courtyard barely spare his eyes a glance, only smiling at him and John in greeting as they go.

 

“Here,” John sighs, taking his glasses from him. He lets it happen without complaint, only looking up when John sets the glasses back on his face. “You’re fine, Dave.”

 

Dave breathes in slowly. “It’s been so long,” he says, letting John lead him back into the palace with a hand on the curve of his back. “Is it, really? Am I fine?”

 

John smiles up at him, before raising his hand to pat him lightly on the back. “You are.”

 

Dave laughs, mostly because of the aftertaste of panic on his tongue. “Alright.”

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is twenty, Derse proclaims a war against Prospit.

 

“Son,” the King begins, sounding weary yet looking firm as he dons his armor, “You would wish to be in the front lines with the King?”

 

“Of course,” John says, immediate in his answer and stubborn in his tone, “there is no greater shame than standing back and hiding when my people’s lives are at stake.”

 

Dave nods from his place behind John, a hand gripping tight on the handle of his sword. “I agree with him, sir.”

 

The King’s smile is weak in that moment in time, but it is enough. “I may not say it much, but I am proud of you, son. You as well, Dave.”

  

“I know, dad,” John says.

 

John smiles. Dave does not have to.

 

The war lasts for a year, and they do not lose.

 

Dave is not surprised, considering the combined efforts and stubbornness of both the nobles and their people.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is twenty-one, John kisses him.

 

John sputters when he pulls back, looking ashamed as he says, “Dave, I- I’m sorry-”

 

Dave does not mean to sound cold when he speaks. He is surprised, which is a first. He can’t help reverting to instincts. He asks, “Are you? Are you honestly sorry, John?”

 

He suppresses a shudder (of shock? Disgust? Pleasure?) when John shakes his head in response. It feels somewhat like being possessed when his hands move on their own, cupping John’s cheeks as his mouth opens to form the words: “Don’t be so scared, prince. I didn’t mind the kiss.”

 

“You…didn’t?” John asks, eyes wide, and Dave can’t help but say yes to everything, every question and every wish, because John’s eyes are glassy with tears and Dave doesn’t want to see him cry.

 

When John kisses him again, Dave can’t find it in himself to push him away.

 

It was the beginning.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is twenty-two, he finds out that he is an heir of Derse, just as much as Rose and his brother are.

 

He stays. Rose and his brother do not.

 

Rose's return to Derse is also a return to her mother, who had apparently been taken in by the Imperious Condesce before she could escape with her daughter. Rose is in tears when Dave holds her before her departure, and so is he. “Farewell, princess,” he says, smiling still as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Do remember us when you go back to your kingdom.”

 

Her smile is shaky when she says, “This is my kingdom as much as Derse is. I won’t forget.”

 

The night that she leaves with his brother is the night that John takes him to bed, and Dave succumbs.

 

He wants the comfort, just as much as John does.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is twenty-three, he realizes that he has been spending more nights in John’s bed than in his own.

 

He also realizes that this, using his body for John’s pleasure, is the one good way that he has to pay back his debt.

 

“You’re mine, aren’t you?” John asks when he has spent himself, his body warm around Dave’s when Dave curls into him.

 

“I’ve always been yours,” Dave says, because it’s true. He has been John’s friend since the beginning, John’s knight even before he became one- Dave was John’s long before Dave even understood the words.

 

When he falls to slumber, he thinks he hears John whispering to him.  _“I love you,”_  is what he hears.

 

Dave dismisses it instantly, thinking that it is nothing.

 

This arrangement has only ever been temporary, up until the moment that John gets tired of it.

 

 

\----

 

 

When Dave is twenty-four, the King tells John about the arranged marriage between him and Rose.

 

John is furious.

 

"Rose agreed to it," John tells him after he is done conversing with the King, his feet pacing the floor in front of his bed as Dave watches him. "I want to. I do! I want to do this for the betterment of both of our kingdoms. But I don't love her, Dave." He turns his gaze up to Dave, looking so helpless that Dave can't help but hold out his hands to John, trying to give him the only comfort he knows. John takes his hands without complaint, almost stumbling as he kneels in the space in front of Dave's feet. "I can't- I can't bring myself to marry her if I don't love her."

 

Dave doesn't utter a sound as he idly strokes black locks. That is, until he says, "Perhaps you could learn. It wouldn't be hard, considering how you're already familiar with her."

 

"But I'm already in love with someone," John says.

 

Dave's hand pauses in its motions at the words, his gaze turning down to John's blue eyes as he seeks confirmation. John almost looks like he's hoping for something, which is strange enough that Dave can't help but furrow his eyebrows in confusion. "You've never told me that before."

 

John sighs, chewing on his lower lip for a moment. He only ever does that when he's nervous, which makes Dave worry. John has never reverted to nervous habits ever since the war. "I was hoping you already knew," John admits. "Because it was rather obvious."

 

Dave frowns, just a bit. "Was it?" He doesn't remember John courting anyone else, doesn't remember John looking at anyone in any way that was romantic. If anything, all he remembers are John's eyes on him. "I didn't notice anything."

 

"Dave." John reaches out at that, keeping Dave's eyes from wandering as he places both hands firmly on Dave's cheeks. He breathes in, hands cold on Dave's skin. He says, "It's you. It's only ever been you."

 

Dave feels his heart stutter in its beating. "Oh," is the only thing that escapes him, his whole body frozen with shock even under John's touch.

 

"You- you love me back, don't you?" John asks, thumbs tracing circles on Dave's skin, snapping him out of his daze. "Dave?"

 

Dave looks at John, sees blue eyes glassy with brimming tears, and he breaks.

 

"Yes, I love you," Dave says, choked up without even trying, and John cries. Because he's happy.

 

Dave has never thought that it would get this far.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Dave is twenty-four, the King gives them his blessing.

 

The culture of Prospit does not, and never has, prohibit the possibility of people of the same gender engaging in romantic coupling. If anything, various bards have encouraged it with the belief that it is a truer love because of the children it cannot provide.

 

Dave has never thought that it would get this far so quickly.

 

"You are a prince of Derse just as much as you are my son's knight," the King says, "the intent itself is similar. We need only unite the two kingdoms."

 

When the King smiles, Dave feels the guilt that he's ignored for so long dropping like lead to the pit of his stomach. "The fact that my son loves you is a blessing in itself."

 

Dave has already gone too far to go back. He'd be a liar if he didn't remember his own advice to John months before.

_("I can't- I can't bring myself to marry her if I don't love her."_

_"Perhaps you could learn. It wouldn't be hard, considering how you're already familiar with her.")_

 

He'll learn, somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> Technically, this whole thing is only Medievalstuck in the sense that there are knights and princes and such. In everything else, I took the liberty of researching other periods. Included in "everything else" are the beliefs in regards to homosexuality.
> 
> Another reminder: Love has many forms, included in which is love that does not seek physical pleasure. That would be Dave's kind of thing, in this fic.
> 
> But hey, I did it. A sequel to [A Debt Repaid](http://archiveofourown.org/works/778253). I hope you guys like it!


End file.
